Komugisa

Today I finally started this. Komugisa. These quiet pages where I can say the things I don’t say out loud to anyone. I don’t know who will find them or if they’ll even matter, but keeping it all inside was starting to feel heavier than the silence I’ve been carrying. So here I am, typing with tired fingers, pausing every few lines because the words get stuck sometimes. I’ve been in this season for what feels like forever now. The prayers have become so short and worn out. Most nights I just whisper the same thing: “I’m still here, God.” Nothing fancy. No big declarations of faith. Just that. And then the silence answers back, the way it always does lately. I try not to let it shake me, but some mornings it does. I pretend I’m fine when my mum calls. I reply to friends with “Doing well!” and a heart emoji, then put the phone face down and feel the emptiness rush back in. If you’re reading this right now and something in your chest just tightened... I see you. I know what it’s like to be...