Dear Komugisa | Letters for Healing, Hope & Personal Growth

  Some letters are shared by readers. Others are inspired by conversations, life experiences, and the quiet struggles many of us carry but don't always know how to put into words. To protect privacy, names and identifying details are changed. If you happen to see yourself in a letter, know that you're probably not alone. Letter Dear Komugisa, I'm 29, and I feel like everyone else is moving on without me. My friends are getting married. Some have children already. Others have careers they seem to love. I'm happy for them. I really am. But after every wedding I attend, after every "Congratulations!" I type under someone's post, I come home feeling like I've missed a train everyone else managed to catch. Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choices. Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. And then I feel guilty for even thinking that because I know I have things to be grateful for. I don't know how to explain it. I just feel... behind....

The other day, I found myself doing something I promised I would stop doing. I was scrolling. Not because I was bored. I think I was looking for proof that life was moving somewhere. A friend had just announced she was getting married. The next post was someone celebrating a promotion. Then came a newborn baby wrapped in a soft white blanket. Then a passport with a visa stamped inside it. Then someone holding keys to a new house. I smiled for every single one of them. I really did. Then I locked my phone and stared at the ceiling. It's strange how you can be genuinely happy for people and still feel your own heart sinking. No one teaches us what to do with that feeling. We're taught not to be jealous. And I agree. Jealousy can quietly poison a good heart. But what about disappointment? What about those moments when you're not angry at anyone. You're just... tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of saying, "Maybe next year." Tired of answering relative...